Thursday, April 02, 2009

Traces





























What keeps two people together? What makes one not leave? It is the fear of traces. Traces of happiness in these darkest of times, traces of love that haunt our lives and follow us like shadows. Memory that remains like an after taste, provoking afterthoughts.

What then is love? Is it simply the vertigo towards a life not lived? Of words unsaid? Is that why we 'fall' in love? But that is only a word that tries to grasp the whole universe of the unknown and fails so miserably, so so miserably. There is a world of difference between love and togetherness. Even between love and faithfulness.

"I shall never be able to stop loving you," said Sikan unblinking. "But I do not need you to be a part of my life for that. "

He pauses, but the sky cannot. It falls falls falls, with its clouds and colours and brightred sun, giving in to its vertigo to explode into night, helpless.

He blinks like a faraway explosion. Perhaps something dies. The sky turns a darker red.

"If you leave me, I will be afraid of the traces. I will lie awake at night and give in to waves of incessant tears bleeding your soft yellow into all that I see. Seconds will turn to hours and I will ebb and pine till I am a translucent blur. But I would be ready then, for my flame red hunt. Again."

Ah Sikan, Sikan, there in lies the human, the great tragedy of the weight of humanity trapped in the souls of freebirds. The endless circle of lightness and vertigo in those of us who choose the reddest of rushes in these darkest of times.

"If you must leave I will understand. At least leave without a trace. So I may love you and yet not need the warmth of your body to fall asleep."

And this child of the neon wild, will live to see another bright midnight.

1 comment:

M said...

Insightful, enlightening.
And more importantly,
Delicately amusing.